Whispers of the Workshop

By Allison Gee

I sneak my way out of the grim workshop to the stairway facing east. Forcing my way up onto my tippy toes, I shift the curtains out of my view. The sun subtly makes its way to my eyes and I can feel the warmth it brings to my face. Sun is a speciality that we are somehow told to ignore. 

“HOLLY! Are you trying to get us in trouble?” my barely four and a half foot friend screams at me. 

“Jolly, it is not my fault that you don’t always care for the environment around you,” I remark in a snarky voice.
With no time between responses she declares “well why would I when it is all just snow and darkness anyways.” 

“That’s just what they want you to believe, come look out this window and tell me that you don’t think there is more out there!”

“Not this again Holly,” she replies disappointedly.

“I know you think I’m crazy but I know there is more than this life we are living, and once you start looking for it, you’ll start to notice it too”

“All I’m looking for is a way out of here that won’t get us in trouble, now c'mon!”

I follow behind her spiritless, dragging my toes at each idea of going back to work. Everyone around here seems fine with living life in a loop, working all day long – that’s always how I used to be. That’s how I wish I still was. 

To my right are Stock and Wreath; They are the classic textbook elves, efficient, fast and easygoing. Straight ahead we have Bell and Tinsel. They are the slower type (referring to making toys of course), they easily forget the step they are on which leads to unnecessary chaos. Lastly, to my left is good ole Jolly, my best friend and favorite coworker. She may not be the best at making toys but she is my biggest supporter and the reason I am who I am. We all work together and specialize in stuffed animals. Being around each other and even sharing sleeping quarters basically forces us to be pretty close friends. Not to forget the person that makes it all happen, Jingle. Technically, she is the stuffed animal administrator, but to me, she acts more as an older sister. She interacts with us on the daily and is always more delicate when giving out orders. For the general population, they would say Santa is their favorite and while I do find him quite fantastic, he is too cliche to say. Santa is the reason we are all here. Santa made us all and picked out each of our talents uniquely. For example, while Wreath isn’t as good at sewing, he is an excellent stuffer and this causes him and I to make an impeccable team. Needless to say, Santa is like our God. 

Later into the night, I forcefully sit up, breathing heavily, sweat lingering on my skin. The same feeling washes over me each morning. To remember my dreams at night is improbable, but the feeling of them always sticks with me. I don’t understand that if Santa made me uniquely for stuffed animal assembly, why I would slowly lose my passion for it. The thought that I may have been one of Santa's uncaught mistakes straggles with me throughout every day and apparently every night too. 

I finish washing my hands and splash a few drops of ice cold water onto my face. My ribs are forced out by air being filled within my lungs in an attempt to try and slow down my breathing. Something deep inside my stomach feels off and it is a feeling I haven’t been able to shake for months. Composing myself each morning has seemed to help however I can feel Jolly watching me closer than ever, she knows something is wrong. For being my best friend she is oftentimes incredibly blunt. Her hair reminds me of the curled ribbons we put on presents and she normally styles it in two low buns; it seems to be the only hairstyle that works with our pointy hats that supposedly help us work. Her skin is the color of fresh poured chocolate and her glasses almost seem bigger than the snowglobes that decorate our shop. Jolly seems to be the loudest elf and is always talking her ear off to anyone that’ll listen. I love how assertive she is even in the moments I fear for my safety. 

I find myself weaving through the breakfast line, grabbing my usual fruit and toast, going through great efforts to avoid Jolly. I am not sure if I have the capacity this morning to deal with Jolly and her flamboyant personality. Needless to say, my reaction when I turned around and she was right in front of my face. 

“Good morning sunshine!” Jolly states energetically.

I reply in an annoyed tone “Oh, hey Jolly, morning.” 

“Sounds like you didn’t sleep very good last night” she remarks.

“No actually I didn’t and I don’t need you to get involved.”

“Are you just really stressed out because Christmas is approaching quicker than you expected” she reminds me. 

“Ugh no, that is not the problem, you know how prepared I am” I state, followed by a big sigh. “You know what, just come with me,” I say as I grab her wrist and lead her towards the bathrooms. 

“Why are you causing a scene? What do you need to tell me?” she questions.

“First of all Jolly, this isn’t a scene, I’m trying to avoid a scene. And if I tell you what I’m thinking I need you to not judge me” I firmly declare.

“Holly, there is no need for me to judge you. You're the only real friend I have here. So what is it?” 

“You would judge me because what I am about to say is probably going to change your opinion of me but I guess it needs to be said,” I pause to gather my breath and continue after a big inhale. “I know it sometimes seems like we live a perfect life, I mean that is what we have always been told. That Santa is the most amazing creature to exist and that we are all blessed to know him however, with careful consideration, I have come to realize that we are being force fed to believe such things. Have you ever wondered why our stomachs always have an ache deep inside them or why they never let us do anything we want to? Our lives consist of work and sleep and for the longest time I thought that was how it was supposed to be until my dreams at night showed me another narrative. I think we have been brainwashed to believe these false truths and after observing more and more, I am only further convinced. I am not sure exactly what a different life would entail, but I can feel that there is so much more that we are missing out on. I still believe that Santa is the reason we are all here, but if I am right in my accusations, Santa is the one behind this all. We are being held back from our own lives filled with passion and it is being done on purpose. I know this probably doesn’t make much sense and it hasn’t for me either but once you just stop and start questioning the information that we are being forced to believe you will understand it.” 

“This is a lot of information that you threw at me, and I honestly don't believe it in the slightest, but you are the most intelligent person I know and always on the lookout. I see where you are coming from, and I will take time to think about everything you believe to be true. I don't understand how you feel that the man who got us here, our beloved Santa, can be someone as bad as you believe, but I will try my best to see your side of things before completely shutting the idea down in my head,” Jolly responds. 

“And that’s all I can ask you to do” I say in relief

I go about the rest of my day trying to ignore the slight guilt I feel for telling Jolly. It is bad enough that I have been living with a pit in my stomach. I didn’t need to involve her as well. Tossing and turning all night I have trouble getting to sleep. I feel trapped in the only place I know as home and I see no way out. Being an observer for as long as I can remember, I notice things. I notice body language and I usually know what someone is going to do before they say it. I notice that Jolly is unsettled and in turn that makes me unsettled. The selfish part of me is glad I am no longer in this situation alone but the other part questions my decision. I drift off into sleep with moments of regret and also moments of assurance fading in and out. 

I am eager to see Jolly this morning; the exact opposite of yesterday and in the corner of my eye, I see Jolly urgently approaching me from the other side of the room.

“Holly, what’s going on!” she states in a quiet but panicked voice.

“What do you mean? Am I missing something” I state, confused. 

“Why are we only getting fed once a day and why do they always watch us, treating us like we can’t be on our own, and why is the only thing we do is work? Do we even have any freedom??” she confesses panicked.

“Jol, I know it seems scary, especially thinking about how it has been this way our entire lives, but maybe we should take a second and think about this.”

“No, we need to do something about this, where do we even start?” she responds.

“This is going to sound as crazy as what I said before, or even a little crazier, but I have been making plans for weeks now. The only way to fully understand what is happening is to get into Santa's office, and Santa is only gone the night before christmas” I hint.

“But Christmas is in three days, how are we going to make this work?” she asks puzzled.

“I know it seems far-fetched, but it's either we do this now, or wait till next season when Santa is gone again.”   

Something clicks inside her mind and she promptly responds with “Okay so what do you need me to do?”

“First, I need to know you’re committed to this, secondly, I need you to plan some sort of occasion to keep all the elves around here distracted. Since all the leaders help Santa out, the only one we have to worry about is Miss Carol. She is basically deaf and likes to go to bed at a good hour, so as long as she thinks we are all in our beds sleeping, we should be fine. I will distract her around 7 so you need to sneak into all the cabins and make it look like we are all asleep. After that, entertain the elves and I will meet you in Santa's warehouse at 9, should give us plenty of time to search his place and Miss Carol should be plenty asleep by then”

“Yes, I would've never even considered this a possibility yesterday, but now that I see what we have been wrapped into our whole lives, I see that there needs to be a change. I can most definitely keep the elves distracted. You know I throw killer parties. I have never tried it around the biggest day of the year, but I will make it work. I need to get to planning not only to avoid Miss Carol but also to get all the elves on board on such short notice.” 

“Okay sounds good, try and keep distance from each other the next few days but do let me know if you need my help for anything” I remind her.

“Holly, you’re sure about this” Jolly states, looking for reassurance.
“More sure than ever, which takes a lot with my indecisive brain” I joke. 

“Alright let's do this!” she says as she whips out her fist in hopes to start our handshake. 

So many questions run through my mind, but the one thing I know for sure is that Jolly is a loyal friend. While I am terrified for my life, I know this is the right thing to do. Two and a half days till I can maybe get some answers, only two and a half days until my life will start to make some sense. In the meantime, I distract my mind, planning how we are going to get into his shop and how we are going to go unnoticed. I put Jolly in charge of distracting all the elves and I already have a plan to keep Miss Carol from getting in our way. The biggest obstacle now is determining a plan for how to get in the warehouse and what we will do once we are in. The only way I can scout the premise is to go to the upper level workshops and pear out the stairwell windows. 

I find myself swiftly skipping steps, making sure to be as quiet as possible. I reach level 6 and prowl my way to the window. I don’t have a great view of Santa’s place from here and it is hard to see past the falling snow but I think I found a way in. I rest uneasy at breakfast the next morning, not knowing what to expect from tonight's adventure. 

All the elves are gathered outside, near the runway, full of energy to send Santa on his way. I sneak my way through the crowd and slip unnoticed to my cabin. I take a look up at my bed, beautifully made with no wrinkles or imperfections and then I glance down to Jolly’s bed; blankets going in every direction, pillows on the ground and completely unmade. Normally, this scene would have made me infected with disappointment but the edges of my mouth can’t help but lift and form a delicate smile. While the life I have been living isn’t the one I’ve always wanted, there are still things about it that I would never want to change. I gather my breath, stand up straight and open back up the door. 

“Shh Jolly this way” I whisper as I motion my arm, pointing up.

In the middle of darkness climbing up the side of the shed, I realize that there might’ve been a better way of going about this. My fingertips are freezing and the visibility is worse than I thought. The only thing I can hear at this moment is the wind. Inches from the top I feel my foot slide off the crack I had it resting on. I thought for sure I was about to fall to my death (or really about 10 feet) but I was able to relocate the crack before falling and give Jolly a reassuring nod. I reach the roof of the shed and pull myself up with grand relief. My body is shaky but yet more alive than it has ever been. I make sure Jolly gets up okay and then we lighty step, edging closer to our way in. I spot the chimney I saw from floor 6 and place my hands on its outer walls. I push on my hands, taking the pressure off of my legs and peek into the chimney. After inspecting for quite some time I gathered my breath and decided to make the most courageous and brave decision so far; I made Jolly jump down the chimney. 

“OUCH!!” Jolly’s voice echos to my ears

“Jolly, are you okay?!?” I scream back in a concerned manner 

“Yes, but get down here you’re gonna wanna see this”

I prepare for my descent and start thinking about it deeply until I hear Jolly “get down here now!” Without hesitation I let myself fall and I hit the ground not long after. I landed on my bottom but was expecting more impact than I received. I take my gaze up and see Jolly’s face in complete awe. I look around and am astounded with the amount of new objects I see. I look around for quite some time until a weird ding starts going off on the object above the fireplace. It reminds me that we are on a schedule and have tasks to complete. 

We roam around for quite some time taking in everything around us. It didn’t take me long to find the books and Jolly went straight to the toys, anyone could tell she was in the right department. I begin flipping pages and am completely enthralled by what I am finding.

“Jolly, make sure to take anything you think we could need once we leave” I yell in hopes of reminding her. 

“Okay will do” she alerts back muffled. I continue rifling through as many books as I can, taking in knowledge faster than an elf can sew. I rip out the pages I find to be important and keep going. I’m on my way to my 5th book when I hear a startling clatter come from the back of the room. I carefully make my way closer to the sound when I see Jolly acting guilty. 

“Uh Jolly, are you okay?” I question. She turns to face me and has chocolate all over her face, some even managed to get in her hair. Laughter immediately rushes through my body and we both can’t help but fall to the ground with giggles. My stomach begins to get sore from the amount of laughter but comes to an abrupt halt when lights from the room next to us flash on.

“What was that?” Jolly says with a subtle shake in her voice. I motion for her to be quiet and we make our way over to the window the light is coming from. We get a glimpse of what’s going on and see Santa, who is somehow back already. 

“C’mon, we have to find a way out now!” Jolly urgently speaks as she turns around looking for an exit. Before I turn around to join her, I see Miss Jingle and Santa giving strict commands, something I’ve never seen Miss Jingle do. A few seconds later, I see little elves emerging from Santa's sleigh. Only after a closer look, I realize these are not elves. They are a tad bit too small and are dressed in strange clothes, thinking about what they could be, I flash back to the same memory of myself walking out of the same sleigh. Only now I realize that I was right – I had a life before this. I turn to Jolly who has already realized this truth on her own and has her nose pushed up against the glass with her mouth wide open and tears in her eyes. 

TO BE CONTINUED….